Samhain

This is the first year I ever officially celebrated Samhain (Sau-un), the pagan holiday that ushers in the dark time of the year, and is for honoring our ancestors. It was a great time. I did it with a heathen twist, so instead of doing what the club does, usually drawing heavily from witchcraft, we did things differently. There was no circle casting, no direction calling, nothing like that.

We ate, talked, laughed, and drank to the memory of those who came before us. We went around and spoke of specific ancestors we wanted to honor, and then boasted of our own achievements. It was great.

Afterward was the best part, however. People slowly started to trickle away and soon it was just three of my friends and myself. I felt like, without any prompting, we all became so honest with each other. We talked about anything and everything that came to mind, whether it was family, relationships, sex, politics, cute puppies, whatever. There were some moments when I really felt sad, to be honest. But it wasn't that the people made me sad, simply that I remembered a lot of things that I have put off thinking about.

After the conversation I realized I learned a lot. We all look for perfection in people, when our conception of it doesn't exist. Nobody can fly, nobody will solve your problems, nobody can be a knight in shining armor. But sometimes perfection does shine through the smokey glass just to remind you that its there,

because sitting and talking with my friends, that moment was perfect.

I think we need to redefine our idea of perfection. We want so much when in truth we have so much in front of us. There are people, as beautifully flawed as we are... what more could you ask for? When we all realize that we will hurt and be hurt, then we can see how sacred our relationships are, how important it is that we treat each other well.

Its a strange and beautiful thing, really.

I will appreciate every fallen leaf,
there is more beauty in them than in anything I could ask for.

How can I not stand utterly and completely in awe?