Dancing

I absolutely hate dancing.

I don't mean Ballet, or modern dancing, or belly dancing, or tap or swing; these are some of my favorite forms of artistic expression, though I am an observer and not a practitioner. I mean the strange, half drunken gyrations involved in what I refer to as "club dancing".

Do I think its wrong? No, right and wrong don't have much of a place in opinion. Do I think its stupid? Well, who am I to say. But I can say that I certainly feel stupid on the few occasions that I have done it. Standing, I never know where to put my arms. Guys say "on the girl! Just go for it!", yet girls often come back and report "eew, he had his hands all over me!"

There is an obvious lack of communication. Although, I can freely admit that I am NOT a good "Club" dancer.

Second is, of all the times I was expected to "club dance", no experience was a good one. I'll share two stories with you, but there are some that I keep to myself for...well....good reason.

The first involved my prior girlfriend. I took her to a school event that was, in essence, a dance. But no, not like swing dancing or anything like that. I at least know how to swing dance a little bit. This dancing involved the loud thumping bass I dreaded. She bought a beautiful dress, the event was a formal one and she looked gorgeous. Anyways, I went out with her to the dance floor and immediately things went south. My throat closed up, my legs turned to jelly, my head started to spin. Needless to say her beautiful dress was a waste, and I got the blue ribbon for "worst boyfriend ever".

The second involved a situation I hated from the start.

Two girls a friend of mine and I met were coming into town, and wanted to hang out. the moment we met up with them I sort of got a feel for them and decided that they weren't the type of girls I was interested in hanging out with. But regardless we went out to eat, walked around downtown, and had a nice time. Then, a man downtown asked if he could dance with her to the music of a street musician. But he asked me. My thinking was as follows, although I didn't say this out loud.

"The fuck are you asking me for? I'm obviously not involved with this girl and if she wants to dance with you, shouldn't that be up to her?"

Apparently my thinking that she could decide who to dance with didn't go over so well. The rest of the night was utterly miserable. You see, I didn't view the event as a double date, which is apparently what it was. Hell, nobody told me that. If I had known that I would have acted differently. I just saw it as a few friends from out of town coming to visit. Ok, maybe I should have taken a hint but when a girl goes the whole evening without looking at you, speaking to you, and constantly texting every one of her friends, you don't think she is interested.

Anyways. later that night another opportunity to dance presented itself. I didn't like this girl. She was annoying, pompous, and full of herself. Not to mention completely unreasonable. But hell, I didn't want her to have a horrible time, and I felt bad that she was bored so I offered to make it up to her in hopes that the evening wouldn't be a complete waste for her. She replied,
"No, you can dance by yourself."

I spent the rest of the evening on the porch, cursing women and wishing I was dead.



I absolutely hate dancing.


.