A leaf falls

l(a

le
af
fa
ll

s)
one
l

iness


by e.e. cummings.

Old chair

My chair creaks and moans with aching every time I move. The paint is peeling off, showing that it has been painted many times, always white. I drew runes on it, a long time ago. They spell out the lord's prayer, beck when I didn't know in whose stands I sat. Maybe I've held onto this old chair for too long. Maybe its time to put it to rest.

Dust

Ég veit heimskur þess. Og ég veit eigingirni hennar. Og ég veit að það hljómar alls konar slæmur, fatlaður, hvaða, en ég vil að hún hefði aldrei verið til, eða að ég hef aldrei haft. Á minnstur, ÉG vildi hún hefði aldrei kysst mig þessi nótt undir beyki tré, stal hjarta mínu, elskaði mig ástríðufullur í fjögur ár, og síðan hún fór bara. Þetta var meira en fjóra mánuði síðan að ég sá hana fara, og ég er m hósta enn í duftinu.

The Palo Verde beetles are out. They are the size of my hand, from the base of my palm to the tip of my middle finger. The sky is copper, rust, and sand. The wind is bending the trees, like vocal chords, letting out long breaths of shuddering anticipation. Lightning has already begun to spark out from between the clouds. The grounds tingles with electricity.

There is a storm brewing in Phoenix.

You're beautiful :)

.
.
.
If you knew how beautiful you are,
you would see that there's no reason to cry.


I don't know who this is about, but the words popped into my head and I feel like someone needs to hear it. So if you click the link and come to this entry,

its for you :)

I'm sure the grammar is atrocious.

Kveðjur Thor!
Konungur af thunder!
Þú verja og vernda.
Bless þetta hamar.
Vinsamlegast hafðu illt í burtu.
Vinsamlegast vera hér og vernda þetta svæði.
Vinsamlegast gefið gleði og vináttu.
Takk!

Loft er frá austri.
Innsýn er í loftinu.

Slökkvilið er frá suðri.
Ástríða er í eldi.

Vatn er vestan.
Viska er í vatninu.

Jörðin er að norðan.
Styrkur er í jörðu.

~~~~Translation~~~~

Greetings Thor!
King of thunder!
You defend and protect.
please keep evil away.
Please stay here and protect this area.
Please give joy and friendship.
Bless this hammer.
Thank you.

Air is from the east,
Insight is in the air.

Fire is from the south,
Passion is fire.

Water is from the west,
Wisdom is a lake.

Earth is from the north,
There is strength in the ground.

Sabbath for pagans

Growing up as a Seventh-Day Adventist, my family and I observed what we called 'The Sabbath'. The word comes from "Middle English sabat, from Anglo-French & Old English, from Latin sabbatum, from Greek sabbaton, from Hebrew shabbāth, literally, rest" (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sabbath.) In the Adventist denomination of Christianity, the main purpose of the Sabbath is to rest and commune with the Abrahamic god. Working and engaging in mundane activities is often prohibited.
Having moved away from Adventism, one thing I have kept with me is the basic concept of the Sabbath, although I don't call it that anymore. I mean, how could taking a full day to relax not sound tantalizing? I guess now is the time that I explain how I've adapted this concept for this current portion of my life, paganism.
We all need to rest. Many people deny it, or so it seems. Everybody is on the run, working at awful hours, and stretching their abilities to their absolute limit. I think, as many others do, that this constant on the go attitude is a bit silly. Look at our not so distant relatives in the 'mammal class'. Most, as far as I know, spend the majority of the day resting. relaxing. Taking it easy. Granted, doing this everyday is just not possible for us, sadly. But I've found that taking one full 24 hour period to ground myself is integral to my survival.
I usually use this day for specific things. Namely I like to pursue my interests. Not the lazy, brain numbing ones (which are important at the end of a long day), but the interests that make me, me. for example, I play the guitar or the dulcimer. I go for a walk, I read a book, I work on some poetry, I simply sit and think. I also use this day to Commune with deity, do ritual, honor the earth, and experience the elements. A full 24 hours to see love and beauty in the world is very revitalizing. I also use it to get in touch with my ancestors, those who are the reason that I am here today.
I say "sabbath for pagans", but really anybody could do this. Even those who are not spiritually or religiously inclined could benefit. Sometimes I feel like I just can't take the time off, and only on the most rare occasions is this true. Usually the rest time means I have to make it. Usually by doing extra chores and homework on Friday afternoon. But trust me, an extra 2 hours on Friday is worth the 24 on Saturday (or whichever day works for you).

Anyways, those are my thoughts on the matter :)

Simplicity

I stripped my room bare today. I tossed out nearly half of what I own(ed), and took about two thirds of my clothes to goodwill. I thought I would miss all of my belongings, but I don't really. Decluttering the walls seems to have cleared my head. At the end of the day I sat on the roof and played my dulcimer to the sunset. I've come to realize that even though I may not know where exactly I'm going, I must be going the right direction when the things I want align with the things I need.

Fiction

An entry from a very old book, that I had almost completely forgotten. It reads as fiction, or so it does to me.

"... I'm on an airplane. On the last flight I dreamed about you. We were on an airplane and you took a nap with your head in my lap while I stroked your head. It was nice...I'm kinda sleepy and I wish you could be here with me right now. You are a good cuddler. Much Better than my teddy bear. I hope you get a job here. It would be perfect. I have to stop writing before my hopes get even higher... maybe we deserve these sorts of hardships because we have no problems with each other, well, at least none that I know of. I don't know. I am just happy because you will be here... We sat on the moonshadowed grass...I love you, I love you, I love you..."

The book is called "Eunice"
And it reads as fiction..
or so it does
to me.

Summer

Clear cicada skin,
Soft and slow ringing wind chimes –
Ants climbing tall trees.

~~~~~~~

A black ink letter
Leaves are sided silver green-
Laughter sidles close

I've got to stop picking at these fucking scabs,
it won't heal any faster.

go away

The first pang of regret for it happened today. I'm not entirely sure why. I hadn't ever regretted it before, and maybe I still don't. But, I do notice that my views have changed.

I guess all I have to do is keep my eyes forward.

What will become of next year? Can I even sit there, and act like it doesn't matter.

this is foolishness.
I just miss my best friend.



Although, I was about the worst friend she'd ever met.



.

It would seem like since I have so many thoughts, saying them would be easy. And it would make sense that since I have so much to say, that talking would be easy. But that just isn't the case, so Poetry it is :)


One sentence,
and I am infinitely joyful.
One thought,
and my heart is uncontained.
I read more in your words
than you may realize,
perhaps even more than is there.
Phantom of happiness,
if you manifest,
I promise to take you dancing.

If you truly could feel the breeze, you would know the love that I hold. If you've ever clapped or danced at a concert...

or seen sunlight on the grass,
or stopped breathing when the music played,


If you've ever laughed so hard you wished you wouldn't anymore,

If you've ever walked,
simply for the sake of walking -


If you've ever become best friends with a person you just met,


How can I not be happy
when such an emotion exists?

What a haunting past tense you speak in, but then even I see the beauty in controlling your own actions.

I'm far from Ascetic, Its just that I much prefer a well played banjo to a shiny plot of debt.

In any case, lets find beauty where we can, and not take it for granted when we are lucky enough to catch it.

f-f-f for some time

Its strange what can come back, even only after a quick visit, and its strange how I might, although I'm not sure, be the luckiest man ever....yet I don't even really know it.


We're such an indecisive species....We flee from desperation yet resist the tug of hopefulness...its funny :)

My life philosophy these days it "I'm wingin' it"

But I might have misjudged the air currents.

haha

I have been infinitely happy these days, and I enjoy it. I'm growing fond of this lifestyle, letting life develop rather than shoving it into a hole that won't fit.


Looks like I've gotten better at that block game.

in any case, I don't fell as though this blog has summed up my thoughts these days. So -

Summary:

I'm happy
I'm hopeful, but cautiously so
I'm enjoying just letting life grow naturally
I'm enjoying the Format (the band)
I'm looking forward to the sixteenth
I'm wishing I had a cat




the end :)

Opened eyes under water

You're probably not supposed to open your eyes in a creek, maybe its fine. But our fragile bodies tend to be afraid of the 'outdoors'.

I was at Oak Creek in Sedona, visiting some friends from Flagstaff for a Birthday. I rarely go swimming, but I made an exception.

I guess I don't have a whole lot to say, just that it was nice to see my friends from Flag. It makes me sad that in the future these people will probably be much less a part of my life, but then I do that. Worrying so much about when something will end that I can't enjoy the current,

Except in Oak Creek..
I don't think anyone can misrepresent themselves under water.