I've got to stop picking at these fucking scabs,
it won't heal any faster.

go away

The first pang of regret for it happened today. I'm not entirely sure why. I hadn't ever regretted it before, and maybe I still don't. But, I do notice that my views have changed.

I guess all I have to do is keep my eyes forward.

What will become of next year? Can I even sit there, and act like it doesn't matter.

this is foolishness.
I just miss my best friend.



Although, I was about the worst friend she'd ever met.



.

It would seem like since I have so many thoughts, saying them would be easy. And it would make sense that since I have so much to say, that talking would be easy. But that just isn't the case, so Poetry it is :)


One sentence,
and I am infinitely joyful.
One thought,
and my heart is uncontained.
I read more in your words
than you may realize,
perhaps even more than is there.
Phantom of happiness,
if you manifest,
I promise to take you dancing.

If you truly could feel the breeze, you would know the love that I hold. If you've ever clapped or danced at a concert...

or seen sunlight on the grass,
or stopped breathing when the music played,


If you've ever laughed so hard you wished you wouldn't anymore,

If you've ever walked,
simply for the sake of walking -


If you've ever become best friends with a person you just met,


How can I not be happy
when such an emotion exists?

What a haunting past tense you speak in, but then even I see the beauty in controlling your own actions.

I'm far from Ascetic, Its just that I much prefer a well played banjo to a shiny plot of debt.

In any case, lets find beauty where we can, and not take it for granted when we are lucky enough to catch it.

f-f-f for some time

Its strange what can come back, even only after a quick visit, and its strange how I might, although I'm not sure, be the luckiest man ever....yet I don't even really know it.


We're such an indecisive species....We flee from desperation yet resist the tug of hopefulness...its funny :)

My life philosophy these days it "I'm wingin' it"

But I might have misjudged the air currents.

haha

I have been infinitely happy these days, and I enjoy it. I'm growing fond of this lifestyle, letting life develop rather than shoving it into a hole that won't fit.


Looks like I've gotten better at that block game.

in any case, I don't fell as though this blog has summed up my thoughts these days. So -

Summary:

I'm happy
I'm hopeful, but cautiously so
I'm enjoying just letting life grow naturally
I'm enjoying the Format (the band)
I'm looking forward to the sixteenth
I'm wishing I had a cat




the end :)

Opened eyes under water

You're probably not supposed to open your eyes in a creek, maybe its fine. But our fragile bodies tend to be afraid of the 'outdoors'.

I was at Oak Creek in Sedona, visiting some friends from Flagstaff for a Birthday. I rarely go swimming, but I made an exception.

I guess I don't have a whole lot to say, just that it was nice to see my friends from Flag. It makes me sad that in the future these people will probably be much less a part of my life, but then I do that. Worrying so much about when something will end that I can't enjoy the current,

Except in Oak Creek..
I don't think anyone can misrepresent themselves under water.